Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I don't understand being different for the sake of being different...any more than being the same just for the sake of conforming. This is on my mind because last night I had a discussion with a friend about trying to be different just for the sake of being different(and trying too hard at it), and just...being different. Sometimes people get the misconception that I act/dress/think/etc. the way I do just to be different. Which isn't true, because IMO mindlessly rebelling is just as stupid and requires as much thought as mindlessly conforming does...except it wastes a whole lot more energy. Not to mention that by mindlessly rebelling you're conforming to a mold just as much as you are by conforming to the mainstream. I take ideas/clothes/music/whatever, and decide if I like it for myself. It just so happens that the majority of that tends to be outside the mainstream. I don't pick it because it's not(I can think of at least five mainstream things I like), I pick it because it's me. Another reason I don't get trying to be different just for the sake of being different. It's exactly the same as being the same just to be the same and fit in. Either way, it's not you. I know I'm different, and I take pride in it...my mom says I thrive on it...but I'd still be different if you straightened my hair, slathered brand-name makeup all over my face, and put me in high-heels and clothes from the Gap(though I'd be hating every second of it).

But I'm me. And I'm happy that way. And I'm not changing to fit anyone's molds or preconceptions. If they don't like me this way, it's tough. It just annoys me when people get the idea that I just do things to be different, or stick out, or whatever. Besides which, if I was going for that, I could've easily made it where nobody at Diamond wanted to talk to me a long time ago :P


Today was math league. I had the logarithms(sp?) test. SO BORING. Also...I don't think, actually I know, I didn't get a single one right. But hey I got out after third hour, so it's all good. Then we went to the mall, saw someone(actually three) people I/LeAnn know working at Tilt, and had fun, except for being 3-5 minutes late getting back on the bus so we had to clean it when we got back to school. Which makes no sense to me, because we were back five minutes earlier than we were supposed to be back anyways, and the bus didn't need to be in place or whatever for another 10 minutes. But eh, didn't take much effort.

Shane told me an amusing story. Before I begin the story, I might explain that today I put those boots on got on Saturday to good use. They're black with white edging, and nearly knee-high for clarification - I was also wearing red tights, skirt with 'The Clash' and a star stencilled on it in white(that's beginning to be fun, it's neat designing your own clothes...also cheap), and a red shirt that said 'Streetlight Manifesto' in black(also homemade, but freehanded rather than stencilled, because the image was a pain in the ass to cut out of stencil material). Surprisingly, I wasn't cold at all. Anyways, Shane was telling the story that apparently, the other day in seminary(which my grandparents teach) they got on the topic of goths, and my grandparents started going on about how black and red are the devil's colors. The only thought that came to mind is...wow...better not wear this outfit at Christmas. Somehow I don't think that'd get me a lot of presents.

heh. It's amusing the way things turn out sometimes. Like how the three people I'm not irritated at in the least right now are really not who I would've imagined them to be.

It's so cold outside. There is absolutely no friggin point in it being this cold without snow. There's a thirty percent chance for tonight though, which is good. I dunno how I'm going to live in Chicago when this is killing me. Probably hiberate. Or stay inside all the time. With the heater cranked.


Anonymous casey said...

.... aw... the vegan is so cute :P

hey michelle...just stopped by to say hey ... so, um,..... "hey"

10:18 PM


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