I almost totaled my car yesterday.
Because of a cow.
(how podunk do I feel saying that? let me count the ways...)
So, my Dearest Baby Brother (aka Logan) stayed home due to not-feeling-well-ness (also, I think he hates school as much as I do...I feel sorry for him, because he actually knows what's ahead since he's heard me talking about it. but anyways). Which is probably just as well, as I'm driving...driving...driving...
(for those not in the know, my drive to school consists mostly of one very narrow 2-lane road with no shoulders)
And going down a hill. I glance down at the gas gauge for no more than like, five seconds, I look up at the road, and
THERE IS A COW.
Standing. In my lane. Looking at me. Chewing.
The next thirty seconds consisted of a stream of four-letter words (or, more accurately, one four letter word repeated very fast) being screamed at the top of my lungs as I hit the brakes as hard as I can. This causes the printer paper that's been sitting in my backseat (the result of a staff meeting where Heath found extras and I said 'hey, you can never have too much paper, I'll take 'em') to burst out of the packages and go flying all the hell over the place. I come to a screeching halt, I kid you not, no more than two freaking inches from this accursed animal - which is still chewing - as it stands still and LOOKS AT ME. Like. "Hey. What's up."
And then, it slowly turns around and walks back across the road. As I get going again, I see a Suburban that was going the other way herding it off the road.
And I'm like, dude. I just had a near-cow-experience.