Lindor truffles are like CRACK.

I feel like crap and have for days.

Today at work sucked. I have Thursday off. Looking forward to it.

I got a sewing machine for Christmas, among many other good things.

I'm having scrambled eggs on toast at night.

People frustrate me.

I finished Alicia's present but it didn't turn out how I wanted. :(

I watched Fight Club, it roxored my soxors. don't care what you say Alicia :P besides which....Brad Pitt, who I normally don't find that attractive, is FREAKING HOT in that movie. mmm. yeah anyways...

/end

Haji was a punk
Just like any other boy
And he never had no trouble
'Til he started up his oi band
Safe in the garage
Or singing in the tub
Till Haji went too far
And he plugged in at the pub
'Twas a cold Christmas Eve
When Trevor and the skins
Popped in for a pint
And to nick a back of crisps
Trevor liked the music
But not the unity
He unwound Haji's turban
And he knocked him to his knees
If God came down on Christmas day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and oi to the skins
But oi to the world and everybody wins!"
Haji was a bloody mess
He ran out through the crowd
He said "We'll meet again,
We are bloody, not unbowed"
Trevor called his bluff
And told him where to meet
Christmas day on the roof
Down at 20 Oxford street
If God came down on Christmas day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and oi to the skins
But oi to the world and everybody wins!"
On the roof with the nunchucks
Trevor broke a lot of bones
But Haji had a sword like that guy in Indiana Jones
Police sirens wailing,
A bloody dying man
Haji was alone
And abandoned by his band
Trevor was there fading
And still so full of hate
When the skins left him there
And went down the fire escape (Oi! Oi!)
But then Haji saw the north star shining more then ever
So he made a tourniqet from his turban saving Trevor
Then repelled down the roof
With the rest of the turban
And went back to the pub
Where they bought each other bourbon
If God came down on Christmas day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and oi to the skins
But oi to the world and everybody wins!"
If god came down on Christmas day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and oi to the skins
But oi to the world and everybody wins!"

The man that used to speak
Performs a cute routine
Feel a little patronized
Don't feel bad. they found
A way inside your head
And you feel a bit misled
It's not that they don't care. the television's
Put a thought inside your
Head like a Barry Manilow
jingle I'd like to teach the
world to sing in perfect
Harmony a symphonic blank
stare. It doesn't make you
care.
Not designed to make you
care.
They're betting you won't
care.

They'll place a wager on your
greed. A wager on your pride
Why try to beat them when a million others tried

-

Lost the battle lost the war lost the things
Worth fighting for lost the will to win the fight
One more pill to kill the pain
The going gets tough the tough get debt
Don't pay attention pay the rent your next of kin
Pay for your sins a little faith should keep us safe

Save us

The human existence is failing,
Resistance essential. The future
Written off. The odds are
Astronomically against us only
Moron and genius would fight a
Losing battle against the super
Ego when giving in is so damn
Comforting.

And so we go on with our lives we
Know the truth but prefer lies
Lies are simple simple is bliss. Why
Go against tradition when we can
admit defeat. Live in decline. Be the
Victim of our own design
With status quo built on suspect
Why would anyone stick out their
neck Fellow members of club
We've got ours, I'd
Like to introduce
You to our host
He's got his and I've
Got mine. Meet
The decline

We are the queer
We are the whore
Ammunition in the class war

We are worker
We love our queen
We sacrifice
We're soylent green

yet another thing added to the Ever Growing List of Things to Get Done on Break (that seems to mostly involve cleaning and organizing...):

clean my car! everyone trashed it the other night and now the backseat (which, as we all know, is the most important part...hahaha just kidding) is covered in Jones soda bottles and other various assortments. ack.

Wednesday...that is, tomorrow...I work 2-8. Need to stop by Pac Sun, Romancing the Stone, and Eccentrix (maybe Vintage Stock?); get applications. Fill them out and probably return them on Thursday after work (I get off at five) while I'm doing my last minute shopping. Y'know what's great about that last minute shopping? I'm just buying stuff to make the gifts haha. One of these years I WILL get everyone's gifts to them before Christmas. Because it hasn't happened so far and it only MIGHT this year; if I meet up with people later in the day on Christmas to give them stuff.

I need to buy an adjustable mannequin of I ever plan on making anything for anyone else. Since it's kind of annoying to have people in your house to try things on. And a head-mannequin or two regardless. I have no idea where to buy those at though (I know at least that I can get an adjustable mannequin at the Jo-Ann's website, or maybe in the store, but I'm on the mailing list so I get like 40% off website stuff). And no idea where I'd keep them since mannequins kind of freak me out. (it's a quirk, ok?) Maybe I should check the Salvation Army. I haven't been to there or the DAV in a while. That's one of the other things I should do this break, have a thrift-store day...

However, there is the issue that I have no place to PUT any of this. My craft corner already is threatening to swallow the kitchen whole (something my mom is not entirely happy about, to say the least...*cough*). I just don't have anywhere to PUT all of it. Cleaning that up should probably be on my projects-for-break list too. Eep.

This is the most pathetic example of someone trying to use sex to sell something I've seen in a LONG time.

so, the reoganized list for break:
-do something for myself, completely and selfishly
-make something for myself and nobody else
-finish up my Christmas gifts and get them to most everyone before the end of break
-clean up my room
-go through photos and put them in my (NEW, that Lydia thoughtfully got me :) ) scrapbook
-be happy for five minutes at least
-clean up/reorganize my documents on the computer, along with bookmarks
-clean/wash car
-attempt to clean up crafty/sewy area
-work on/go through with my idea(s) for selling the crafty things
-have a thrift store day

Star Wars Horoscope for Libra

You are on a lifelong pursuit of justice and determined to succeed. You convey the art of persuasion through force. You always display your supreme intelligence. You have a great talent in obtaining balance between yourself and your surroundings. Star wars character you are most like: Obi Wan Kenobie

What Is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

Okay, open suggestion time. (man, I've been blogging waaaaay too much over the past few days)
As most of you know, I'm the crafty type of person, I make things and stuff. But, since lately (in between making all these Christmas presents like crazy and stuff) I've been getting pretty fast at crocheting and I'm working on a few other areas (Tunisian crochet and loom knitting, neither of which will probably mean anything to the vast majority of you) or soon shall be, the thought occurs to me that it would be nifty if I could sell some of these winter-wares somewhere. The prices would probably be relatively cheap, obviously depending on what the item was, how simple/complicated to make, and how much/what kind of material it used, but probably going between $5-15 for hats, similar prices for scarves, and a moderate price-range for other stuff (wrist/arm warmers, hobo mitts, leg warmers, hats with various designs, chokers, whatever else I can think of). About the same or maybe a little lower than most retail prices (again, depending on what).

Problem: Where do I sell it? I'm planning on setting up an etsy shop soon, but I have a few ideas for stuff that might sell better locally. And that would probably result in a faster profit. But no idea where to sell it that the target market (15-25 on most stuff, as a random guess) would frequent. That wouldn't require a huge payment or anything funky. Ideas, anyone? The only thing I've come up with so far is maybe seeing if Eccentrix does commission selling...

another thing to add to my to-do list: clean up my documents, seeing as how I might soon be switching them all over to another computer...and 'cause it's just a mess, hah.

why can't I sleep?!?!

my goals for break:

-do something for myself, completely and selfishly
-make something for myself and nobody else
-finish up my Christmas gifts and get them to most everyone before the end of break
-clean up my room
-go through photos and put them in my (NEW, that Lydia thoughtfully got me :) ) scrapbook
-be happy for five minutes at least...

elaboration on earlier:

Relatively boring week. I'm getting annoyed because, my bad, I'm sorry, but I didn't realize that my hair was so short to get all the comments it has been at school. I mean, FFS, do people have nothing better to say?! One girl in my weights class, who I used to consider a pretty good friend, has CONSTANTLY been saying "yeah well at least I don't look like a boy, Michelle!"

And I'm really sorry but it leaves me wanting to say "Yeah well at least I don't look like I got kicked in the face by a horse" or something equally mean, just because there's only so much grin-and-bear it I can do. There's a really fine line between not being walked all over and being a bitch, and the way I tend to do things is that it builds up and them some really tiny thing sets me off screaming and everybody gives me the "what the hell did you just freak out for" look. I'm just tired of it.

I mentioned to Jessica what the girl keeps saying. Her response "Well, people just don't get that sometimes you want to get a weird haircut and sometimes it turns out bad."

gee. Thanks. I mean, normally I'd not mention her name, but I'm just getting sick of her shit in general and she doesn't read this blog, so hey why not? I spend 2-3 hours making a shirt that I wore last weekend to work with a plaid skirt, fishnets, and non-heeled boots from Journey's..."What are you wearing? You look like a hooker!" I'm getting sick of the "oh I'm such a rebel, I'm so different" bull when all she does is desperately try to fit into the stoner-rebel mold instead of the brainless-prep mold. I'm getting sick of the acting incredibly different around different people thing. I'm getting really sick of not ever hearing anything good about my hair or clothes or whatever. And of hearing "oh well I was just giving you my OPINION that's what good friends DO" on the rare occassions I do say something about it; no, giving your opinion in a rude way WHEN IT WAS NOT ASKED FOR is not something friends do, I don't randomly go "those boots look HIDEOUS" because if the person wearing them likes them, then why do I have to bring them down?

Amy asked me at work;

"You know what I wonder, Michelle? I wonder why you let people treat you so poorly."

And I don't have a good answer but I don't have a solution either. Is it worth saying anything to deal with the repercussions and the awkward moments and everything? I'm just trying to stick it out 'til the end of this year, and I'm not entirely sure why I'm looking forward to that because I don't have anyone to room with or anything, Alicia's moving and she's the only person I honestly feel like I can trust, I have a few other so-so friends but everyone's too caught up in their own stuff to care. I wish I didn't have to have that Weights class. I wish, I know it's supposed to be the working for things that makes them worth having, or whatever, but I wish I could just go to sleep, and wake up, and have everything how I want it. 'Cause as is, I'm so tired of fighting with it and wasting my time all of this completely boring useless mundane BULLSHIT, that I just want to go to sleep for a long time anyways.

Also wondering why I'm taking the time and effort to hand-make almost everyone's gifts when most likely they'd probably prefer some mass-merchandised POS anyways.

I'm just sick of everything...I'm sick of everybody trying to get me to be something I'm not, sick of the brain-killing monotony of school, sick of my so-called friends treating me like I'm something disposable, sick of everybody acting like I'm some kind of idiot child (which is ironic, considering). And I still have half of everyone's Christmas presents to buy or make.

I was fine 30 minutes ago, and now I feel awful. Headachey and nauseous. And like an idiot, but that's from something earlier in the day.

sooo...I was doing okay until I started overthinking things. As usual.

I have enough hours to squeak by on CCE. Which means I can do it again next semester, which means that as SOON as holidays are over I'm going to start looking for a second job, even though that's a really bad time (maybe a new job altogether, because...)

We had a staff meeting Sunday. I was not very happy after leaving it. Maybe I'm oversensitive, I don't know, but I persistently feel like I'm being treated like crap there because I've been working there the longest by far out of the associates (I've been there since the end of July, closest one is Jordan at mid-October) but all of the privileges or whatnot are going to the other ones. Three 'select employees' were informed that they were good enough workers or whatever to do returns and exchanges (normally only a manager/comanager thing)...yeah, I wasn't one of them. Jordan, guy who's been there about a month, and a girl who has been there about 2 weeks or less were. I know it's not that big of a deal but it royally pisses me off, along with the fact that I felt like I was getting yelled at for a bunch of things I didn't do. It's like they forget I'm an associate or something. I'm fuming because of all of the above and manager says "So, as a participant, did I do a good job or was I too aggressive?" Uhhh...you're asking the person who got screwed over? Say what now?

And...the new girl. I don't know what it is, I don't know if it's that a lot of girls annoy me anyways, or that she acts like she's older or superior to me somehow (she's some 2 months younger than me), or if it's that the comanager used to make this big ruckus about how associates aren't supposed to fraternize with upper management and yet her and this girl go out ALL THE TIME and did before she was hired, still do, or that she flirts obnoxiously with all of the guys, or what (the fact that she has a supremely annoying voice really doesn't help), but after some 4 hours of being around her Sunday I was left wanting to yell and hit things. Already annoyed, but sheesh. Not to mention, there's only so many times I can hear "H, why won't you turn gay for me?" or "H is the love of my life, he just hasn't realized that I'm the love of his yet" before I want to be like "OKAY IT'S NOT CUTE ANY MORE, WASN'T TO BEGIN WITH, SHUT UP". People don't usually get under my skin quite this bad without doing something extremely asinine first, but yeeeeesh.

School is the usual, as I said to Alicia, grr, argh, makes me want to pull my hair. Boring, waste of my time. What else is new.

So I cut my hair. REALLY cut it haha. I have some pictures, but they're from like...the day after I cut it, and I've been styling it a bit messier/curlier. Here they are anyways:





haha and I can totally put it into a mohawk. (which I might try later today) YES! Got mixed feedback on it....I really like it. But if I get one more person going "WHY DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR?!" then I think I might smack them. Because I wanted to, duh.



I like that Postsecret. Which reminds me that I need to watch Fight Club still.

Pretty uneventful weekend overall, but it was made yesterday for (probably totally silly, but I can get my hopes up if I want to) reasons that you people aren't going to know (unless I tell you specifically).

There's an art show at the Foundry next Friday...gonna be submitting some of my stuff (only two; pencil/oil pastel one of a hawk from last year and acrylic of Yggdrasil) although I doubt it'll be good enough to get in. But I can try anyways, and I'll probably end up going. Should be fun.

Mandatory staff meeting tonight from 7-9. Had to work yesterday from 10-9, that SUCKED. I was originally only scheduled for 2-10, but I was also covering for Andy (10-4), because I'm just too nice. Since it got way slow later on, and there were two other closers, Heath sent me home since I'd been there the longest. It was pretty crazy yesterday - worse than the day after Thanksgiving, or at least the time that I was there on Black Friday. And then it slowed down all of a sudden. Saw Mr. Withers and his wife, among others.

and now, I'm out!

so this weather is CRAZY. Apparently the storm hit everywhere, they were saying on the news that if you get in a wreck, so long as nobody's hurt don't call the police. Ouch, not very comforting....I guess it hit as far down as Texas and as far up as Illinois. Yeah, our trip got cancelled. Hopefully I'm still going shopping tomorrow. Because I will go freaking crazy stuck in this house all weekend. Some 400,000 people in St. Louis are without electricity. Now that is some crazy shit.

and, I have no work...nothing...for the whooooole weekend. already clocked in too many hours on my DS, read Fray (which is awesome in the extreme /end geekiness), watched waaay too much tv plus Serenity...hence the want to go shopping.

Getting my hair cut sometime soon...since I have nothing to do I might call Shannon and see if we can reschedule for Sunday instead of Tuesday.