Grrr.

Just woke up. Got home at around 5:45ish and went to bed. I totally went off at Logan and his friend because they woke me up like two hours later playing on the Gamecube. Oops. Apparently they had no idea I was in my bed. I woke up at 1:20, feeling much less cranky.

It was kind of a waste of money. There was some good eye candy, sure, but I could hardly enjoy it(let alone, say, approach it :P) because I was either a. sitting on the floor of the DDR room with Jessica(I didn't want to go back out into the main room for reason number two) or b. being followed by a certain someone. Who didn't bring the hoodie. Who I think my earlier suspicions were not at all unreasonable now. I mean, don't get me wrong - we're on good terms, I'll talk to him and yada yada - but for crying out loud, he knew damn near every person there, and after we'd been there and hour and a half he was near constantly talking to us. Or, more accurately, sitting next to ME, talking to ME, almost ignoring Jessica. And then his buddy came up to me, in one of the short periods where I wasn't being accosted.

"Hey, why'd you break up with Spencer?"
"Uh, because."
"Because why?"
"Because of stuff that's none of your business."
"Oh, c'mon, I'm his best friend, you can tell me..."
"It's still none of your business...."
"Well, you should go back out with him."
"No, I don't think so."
"Why not?"
"Because." (and after he asked again I repeated none of your business line)
"He's been in a bad mood ever since you broke up with him, and I think he still really likes you." "Okay..."

And then he finally left, tossing some other "go back out with him" remark over his shoulder.

ARRRRRRRGH. To be fair, Spencer probably had no idea that dialogue took place. However, if he did, W T F? I've actually said to him, if you have something to say to me, THEN SAY IT TO ME. Don't do this second-grader beat around the bush ask your friends to ask crap. And, again, if there was ever *any* chance I would date him again, it has been completely dashed to smithereens, because this whole ordeal screams weak and pathetic to me. Which, to drop a hint, aren't really big turn-ons thanks. And then he made some comment about how he dropped by my house a once or twice and nobody was home, and my driveway dinged up his car a little bit. According to Jessica this is probably BS, because she thinks he would've said something to her. Also, he mentioned this plan to her, and she said no, do not do that, it will piss Michelle off/creep her out. Which it did. I don't like it when my friends stop by my house unannounced, let alone people I'm on barely decent standing with who are also my ex. I wanted to say "If you don't want my driveway to ding up your car then don't drive down it, duh." I didn't, though.

All of this not only pisses me off, but confuses me as well. Because while he was talking(and oh ye gods this boy can talk and when I, little miss talks a million miles an hour and never shuts up, says this I mean holy crap) he mentioned something about "oh yeah, one of my friends wants to meet you, Eric." We both know another Eric who's rather an asshole, and a fat one at that. I made a face, and he said "Oh, no, he's nothing like the other Eric, he's not a fatass for one, he looks nothing like the other Eric, and he's really cool." I said something akin to "okay, fine with me." This sounds suspiciously to me like setting me up with someone. Which is a weird thing to do for someone who follows the above description. But maybe I'm just reading things wrong.

I would think that in hell, there would be a special room devoted to the action of trying to sleep on a floor while DDR music is playing. The same three songs. OVER AND OVER AND OVER. That could be a torture method.

I think I'm going to LeAnn's for New Year's. It should be fun. Have a nice one, everyone.

Two interesting links for you to peruse:

http://www.jdray.com/Daviews/courtney.html

http://wired.com/news/technology/0,69909-0.html?tw=wn_story_page_prev2

Have fun.

Lock in in a while. BORED.

Ouch. I do not like wire fences. The one around our puppy pen keeps scratching me. It's almost as bad as my ceiling.

Lock-in at the Bridge tonight. Which should hopefully be fun(if nothing else because it costs money). And I'll get my Streetlight Manifesto hoodie. Spencer apparently ordered it(the band is a on a label that sponsors him, so he didn't have to pay for it, FYI) while we were dating and got it afterwards. Too small for him and none of his friends like the band. So he offered it to me. I'm giving him five bucks for it, though, so he can't hold it over my head. 'Cause I'm a little wary of the whole thing. I kinda get the impression he's trying to impress me and make me want to date him again or something. Which is never, never going to happen.

Wow. People never cease to amaze me. I'm browsing through the user reviews for "Good Night, and Good Luck", and came across this one. By "communist sympathizers", I hope he means actual communist spies(although I doubt it)...'cause...wow, you can't arrest someone for sympathizing with a cause. Or ruin their life based on it. Or at least, you shouldn't be able to. But I guess doing so is patriotic. Woo hoo.

To hit on something I said earlier, we're about 3/4ths of the way through the Firefly dvds we have, and they're definitely worth watching. For those who don't know, Firefly was a cable tv series, by the producer of Buffy and Angel(Joss Whedon), which got cancelled, and Serenity is kind of the movie version of it. Either way, they're both really good.

The aforementioned trip to the mall with Jessica(and Jeremy) was more productive than I would have thought. I think I'm lined up to get a job at Tilt now. We know probably half of the staff, including the guy who's apparently the manager now. I had no idea he was. Anyways, yesterday I asked him for a phone book, because Jessica won a GBA SP and wanted to know how much cash you could get for them at Game Exchange. As I was following him to get it, he suddenly goes "Hey, do you need a job?" "Actually, yeah, I do." "This guy annoys me, and he's getting ready to get fired, so I'm going to need some new workers soon." "I filled out an application a while ago, but Donny said you guys weren't hiring for a while." "Donny's already been fired, he wasn't too big on the working...though he could tell you about anything you wanted to know about Tool." anyways, blah blah blah (getting bored of typing) he asked my last and first name, and then asked if I wanted to work mornings or nights. And so I think I'll have a job relatively soon.

Sheesh. I just got done cleaning/reorganizing my room. A process that took somewhere between 4 and 6 hours. But it looks all pretty now. Then again, I don't know if pretty's the word...but I have new stuff up all over the walls, and you can walk on the floor. Which is always a good quality to have in a room.

Not doing anything today, to my knowledge. Probably watching the DVDs I got or listening to music. Maybe going to the mall with Jessica later.

Wooo hooo. Nice Christmas. I got just about everything I wanted(details in a moment, I'm sure you're all waiting on bated breath). And there was no bad drama at any of the family gatherings. After we got home from my grandparents on my dad's side, Jessica called, and I went to see The Ringer with Brian and her. Very funny. I was surprised, I thought it was going to be one big long retard joke, but it was actually good, and it was much more respectful towards the Special Olympics and co. than I would've thought.

Anyways, the booty(as in pirates', you sick-minded perverts) list:

-two Clash DVDs(wheeeee!)
-bellydance dvd
-The Empire Strikes First (Bad Religion)
-Give 'Em Enough Rope (The Clash)
-Pump Up the Valuum (NOFX)
-Kohl's giftcard
-Bath set
-CD/vinyl/radio/tape player (as aforementioned...yay for my mom :D )
-pretty oil bottle
-Angel tv series soundtrack
-two books(actually, a helluva lot more from all my buddies)
-and...bum bum bum, last but not least, a nice lil digi camera. Small/light enough to take quick fun photos, but nice enough to take artsy or photography type stuff if I want to.

Neato. And fun. Happy whatever(oh NO, I didn't say Christmas, quick, another casualty in the "war on Christmas" blah blah blah), everybody!

We watched Serenity last night. I have to say, I don't have this reaction to movies very often, but I *loved* it. Watch it, now! Makes me want to actually get started on the Firefly dvds we have. But haven't watched yet. For some reason.

Anyways, in the spirit of the season(which I think I posted last year too... oh well, it can be a tradition):

The Vandals - Oi to the World

Haji was a punk just like any other boy
And he never had no trouble 'til he started up his oi band
Safe in the garage or singing in the tub
Till Haji went too far and he plugged in at the pub
'Twas a cold Christmas Eve when Trevor and the skins
Popped in for a pint and to nick a back of crisps
Trevor liked the music but not the unity
He unwound Haji's turban and he knocked him to his knees
If god came down on Christmas day I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and oi to the skins but oi to the world and everybody wins!"
Haji was a bloody mess, he ran out through the crowd
He said "We'll meet again, we are bloody, not unbowed"
Trevor called his bluff and told him where to meet
Christmas day on the roof down at 20 Oxford street
If god came down on Christmas Day I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and oi to the skins but oi to the world and everybody wins!"
On the roof with the nunchucks Trevor broke a lot of bones
But Haji had a sword like that guy in Indiana Jones
Police sirens wailing, a bloody dying man
Haji was alone and abandoned by his band
Trevor was there fading and still so full of hate
When the skins left him there and went down the fire escape (Oi! Oi!)
But then Haji saw the north star shining more then ever
So he made a tourniquet from his turban saving Trevor
Then repelled down the roof with the rest of the turban
And went back to the pub where they bought each other bourbon
If god came down on Christmas Day I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and oi to the skins but oi to the world and everybody wins!"

YAY. I am so glad that today was the last day of school until Jan 3. I'm so fed up with school and if I had to go to another day it wouldn't have been good.

I'm fed up with being treated like crap by people, and just grinning and bearing it instead of saying or doing something. I'm sick of having so many "friends" and not being able to trust any of them, or them being rude to me, or whatever. I'm tired of being the scapegoat for every group since I'm the odd one out in all of them. I'm especially sick of superiority complexes a mile high. Hey, guess what, just because we're from one town and you're from another - that doesn't give you the right to treat us all like crap, or like we're stupid, based merely on a geographical location. Get the hell over it and stop being such an insufferable snob.

New Year's Resolutions, a work in progress(my goal is to have at least ten reasonable ones before the actual day...)

1. Stop repressing emotions because it's obviously unhealthy, tell people they're being assholes when they're being assholes
2. Shop at WalMart less(or not at all)

so yeah...eight more to go. Whoooo.

In the rant vein...when did people stop having respect for other peoples' property? Sheesh people. I was working on scratchboard stuff yesterday, and somebody threw a penny as hard as they could(probably playing some stupid game), nearly hitting me, and leaving a serious dent in my art project. It isn't too noticeable unless you're looking close, but still. And then I left my purse on my desk today and was halfway at the other end of the room, and at least three people started messing with the keychain on my purse. Here's a word to the wise: unless you want me to pick your wallet out of your pocket and start going through it, leave my purse ALONE. Thanks.

Interesting thing I found on an LJ...

The Media Player Oracle

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and answer the following questions with the names of tracks that play, in the order they come up.

Q: What do you think of me, media player?
A: Holy Smoke (The Mighty Mighty Bosstones) (of which the first two lines are "You made your bed, that's where you'll lie...no pearly gates when ya die" LOL, that's freaking awesome)

Q: Will I have a happy life?
A: The Big Sleep (Streetlight Manifesto)

Q: What do my friends really think of me?
A: Teenager in Love (Less Than Jake)

Q: Do people secretly lust after me?
A: We're all Dudes (LTJ again)

Q: What should I do with my life?
A: Diamonds and Guns (The Transplants)

Q: Why must life be so full of pain?
A: Room Without a Window (Operation Ivy)

Q: Will I die happy?
A: Doves and Civilians (The Mighty Mighty Bosstones)

Q: Can you give me some advice?
A: Youth Gone Wild (Mad Caddies)

Q: What do you think happiness is?
A: Failing, Flailing (Streetlight Manifesto) (the irony)

(these questions were just copied and pasted, didn't come up with them myself)

Heeh. Pretty entertaining. A lot of the songs make more sense if you look at the lyrics, though. But still amusing. And somehow every single one was ska. Which is only 25%ish of my playlist.


Which Buffy Girl Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty


Who's Your Inner Buffy Bad-Girl? Find out @ She's Crafty


Who's Your Movie Sidekick? Find out @ She's Crafty

Going to a Christmas party, desperately trying to find a swimsuit that fits. Youch.

I'm tired. And sooo bored. I think I'm going to go watch the TMNT trilogy. I'm so tired I might fall asleep in the middle of it.

I'm also really irritated at someone. Grrr.

NBC has these combination radio, record, cd, and tape players. I want one. But alas, I have no money, and they're $59. No fun.

I found a great description that fits me, in a column from the latest AMP magazine. The person writing would have ended up a hippy, but they were "too young and too cynical and angry and alienated to be very convincing." That'll be my response next time someone calls me a hippy....

I find it really, really amusing sometimes, because there are people who already think I'm too sarcastic/snotty/whatever. See, I have this sarcastic diatribe going on near-constantly in my head when talking to people(or sometimes when I'm just around them). I only say maybe 25%, or *maybe* 50% if I'm in a reaaaally bad mood, of what the diatribe suggests(is? bad phrasing). But I'm still too sarcastic. Heeh.

Example; yesterday in art, I'm sitting in my usual spot(which, I haven't quite figured out why I do sit there, esp. after this...) and unnamed persons are speaking. As people are wont to do when together. ANYhow, Kia and Genaro(for people who do not know them, Kia is Hmong and Genaro is Mexican, both are really nice people, and they've been going out for a while) were messing around - nothing more than I've seen this unnamed person do, that's for sure, just tickling/hitting type stuff. The little snot goes "OmiGAWD, those two chinks are ga-rossing me OUT!!!". Person sitting next to her says "Well, technically, that one's a wetback." Then they proceeded to whine and moan about how it's so horrible that the white people are being overrun.

I'm biting my tongue this entire time, trying not to say what I desperately want to, like "Well, #1, those two "chinks" are nicer people than you could ever HOPE to be, and #2, you don't hear the Native Americans complaining about how they're overrun by white people, WE weren't here in the first place, and even aside from that, there's no way we're being 'overrun'. Oh, diversity, the horror! However shall we deal!!".

But hey, that's not even the most astound part. As far as stupidity goes, anyways, I think the first part beats out the second when it comes to sheer bigotry. Later they were talking about how when you're stranded on a raft at sea you're supposed to drink your own urine rather than the seawater, and she said "Ewww, I would totally drink the seawater." Other girl: "It's supposed to do more harm than good, though, because it makes you thirsty." "Like I care - helloooo, there's an entire SEA out there! I can drink as much as I want!!!"

I looked up and said "Uh, drinking seawater while you were stranded at sea would kill you."

Which I immediately regretted, 'cause she would've done the world a favor if she'd ever been out at sea and actually tried drinking it. But it'd be better than saying what I was really thinking, which was something along the lines of "Yes, please, drink all the seawater you want, and save me from wanting to whack you upside the head hard enough to shake whatever the heck you've got in there because I know it's sure as hell not a brain or anything resembling one."

Woo-hoo.

I feel bad when my friends get into nasty situations(usually involving guys), because the only thing I can ever do is offer hugs, and think "Stupid jerk, I'd like to kick his face in" or something akin to that. Which is never really much help.

I hate glasses. I really really do.

The job search is going decently so far. Applied at Journeys, Sam Goody, and Mr. Bulky's yesterday. Going to set up an interview at Mr. Bulky's tomorrow. Also printed out a Carbon Star application which I'll be turning in tomorrow. Someplace has to turn up.

Good music and good literature have a lot in common. Both stir emotions that might be otherwise hard to reach, both can have a strong message, and both also can be timeless.

Examples I'm thinking of..."MTV Get Off The Air" by the Dead Kennedys and "(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais" by the Clash. Quick google search for either can find the lyrics easily. Anyways, all of the former, and specifically one line of the latter - "You think it's funny, turning rebellion into money".

It's rather amusing watching people who think they're so rebellious buy their entire wardrobe at Hot Topic or a similar store.

a) Spending all your money supporting large chain businesses. Whoo, that's rebellious, lemme tell ya. I'm not going to say I never shop at chain businesses, because it's unavoidable, but c'mon people - Hot Topic is part of the GAP. You don't get much bigger business than that, unless you want to talk Wal*Mart.
b) Most of the things you get there you can either make yourself for cheaper, or find it online(and actually support the bands themselves) for the same price or cheaper. Or hell, find it at a local store for the same price.
c) I had another point I can't really remember at the moment...I think it had to do with the fact that, being part of the GAP, a lot of the clothes at HT are sweatshop made. If I'm remembering right.

The other thing that's been grating on my nerves lately is listening to people going "Oh, yeah man, I totally got a five finger discount on that, I'M SO HARDCORE!!! WAY TO BEAT BACK THE MAN/CORPORATE AMERICA!!!!".

Ahem. Hey, let's think about this for a minute. If the business is losing money, who're they going to take it out on?

*drumroll*

The employees, you twit. When you steal things from a store, you're not "stickin' it to the man", you're sticking it to the people. You can tell me again how badass you are when someone trying to support themself or their family gets fired because of shoplifting losses. Maybe it's a single parent with kid(s). Don't you feel oh-so-cool now? For that matter, a lot of the reason some items are priced so high is due to shoplifting. So not only can you not brag about how you're sticking it to the man, you can't complain about how high priced something is after you've shoplifted. What really sickens me is people bragging about stealing from small businesses. That even cuts out the middleman and puts you hurting someone's livelihood much more directly with much more loss to them.

In the future, maybe people could, shock of all shocks, actually think about what they're doing and supporting and the effects of these actions? Please? 'Cause that'd be really nice.

After school(quite a while after school, sevenish) yesterday, Lydia, Casey, and I went to Dioko's and stayed there for probably 30-45 minutes. Until they told us we had to pay the cover charge to stay inside, and we decided that since we had no money it might be a better option to leave. We went to Hastings because they have 25 cent cups of coffee that are actually pretty good(with a lot of creamer/sugar) and chairs. And wandered around looking at music/reading books. I talked to one of the guys that works there(Jake, I think, is his name), who's rather funny and has good taste in music(or as far as I can tell anyways). As we were leaving we ran into Mr. T, who I talked to some and had some neat news. It's nice to run into people randomly. Anyways, after that, we went to Spencer's and visited Jessica, and then home.

I haven't really done anything, productive or otherwise, today. I'm working on a skirt, and I have a shirt to stencil. I might do something with Jessica later. That's really about it. So exciting, eh?

Owww. My head hurts. I'm not quite sure why. But...owww.

I wonder if I missed anything at school today.

I don't understand being different for the sake of being different...any more than being the same just for the sake of conforming. This is on my mind because last night I had a discussion with a friend about trying to be different just for the sake of being different(and trying too hard at it), and just...being different. Sometimes people get the misconception that I act/dress/think/etc. the way I do just to be different. Which isn't true, because IMO mindlessly rebelling is just as stupid and requires as much thought as mindlessly conforming does...except it wastes a whole lot more energy. Not to mention that by mindlessly rebelling you're conforming to a mold just as much as you are by conforming to the mainstream. I take ideas/clothes/music/whatever, and decide if I like it for myself. It just so happens that the majority of that tends to be outside the mainstream. I don't pick it because it's not(I can think of at least five mainstream things I like), I pick it because it's me. Another reason I don't get trying to be different just for the sake of being different. It's exactly the same as being the same just to be the same and fit in. Either way, it's not you. I know I'm different, and I take pride in it...my mom says I thrive on it...but I'd still be different if you straightened my hair, slathered brand-name makeup all over my face, and put me in high-heels and clothes from the Gap(though I'd be hating every second of it).

But I'm me. And I'm happy that way. And I'm not changing to fit anyone's molds or preconceptions. If they don't like me this way, it's tough. It just annoys me when people get the idea that I just do things to be different, or stick out, or whatever. Besides which, if I was going for that, I could've easily made it where nobody at Diamond wanted to talk to me a long time ago :P

Anyways...

Today was math league. I had the logarithms(sp?) test. SO BORING. Also...I don't think, actually I know, I didn't get a single one right. But hey I got out after third hour, so it's all good. Then we went to the mall, saw someone(actually three) people I/LeAnn know working at Tilt, and had fun, except for being 3-5 minutes late getting back on the bus so we had to clean it when we got back to school. Which makes no sense to me, because we were back five minutes earlier than we were supposed to be back anyways, and the bus didn't need to be in place or whatever for another 10 minutes. But eh, didn't take much effort.

Shane told me an amusing story. Before I begin the story, I might explain that today I put those boots on got on Saturday to good use. They're black with white edging, and nearly knee-high for clarification - I was also wearing red tights, skirt with 'The Clash' and a star stencilled on it in white(that's beginning to be fun, it's neat designing your own clothes...also cheap), and a red shirt that said 'Streetlight Manifesto' in black(also homemade, but freehanded rather than stencilled, because the image was a pain in the ass to cut out of stencil material). Surprisingly, I wasn't cold at all. Anyways, Shane was telling the story that apparently, the other day in seminary(which my grandparents teach) they got on the topic of goths, and my grandparents started going on about how black and red are the devil's colors. The only thought that came to mind is...wow...better not wear this outfit at Christmas. Somehow I don't think that'd get me a lot of presents.

heh. It's amusing the way things turn out sometimes. Like how the three people I'm not irritated at in the least right now are really not who I would've imagined them to be.

It's so cold outside. There is absolutely no friggin point in it being this cold without snow. There's a thirty percent chance for tonight though, which is good. I dunno how I'm going to live in Chicago when this is killing me. Probably hiberate. Or stay inside all the time. With the heater cranked.

Hmm. I've noticed I bitch a lot.

Oh well. That's what this is for anyways.

We went places...I went and turned in an application at that Dippin Dots(or however the hell you spell it) stand at the mall. Went to Michael's, got fabric markers(two non-fading Sharpies and two that were the wrong kind and I need to take back...), went to Target, got red hose/tights/whatever people call them now. Went to Hastings(w/Alicia, Casey, and Lydia in tow now), spent forever there, Subway, Eccentrix(another application), home. It was fun.

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/index.php

Read.

Five shirts, three sew-on zippers, a new pair of (AWESOME) boots, two pairs of jeans, and a book for $20.

I heart Goodwill and Half of Half.